Imposter Syndrome

We’ve probably all had a bit of Imposter syndrome in our lives-especially women. We feel shame for not being “supermom”. We get praise from others but feel like we don’t deserve it. We might attribute our success to luck but take all the blame for any failure. The worst fear of the person suffering from Imposter Syndrome is being “found out”. This fear leads to the person not asking for help when they need it. This is a fear I see often in my clients.

A few months back a journalist on social media asked me to talk about Imposter Syndrome for an article she was writing. I’m not sure that she used the information I gave her, but it really got me thinking. At first I was a bit anxious to be talking about this because I thought, “I don’t know anything about Imposter Syndrome”. Well, this thought itself is evidence of Imposter Syndrome!

Of course I know about Imposter Syndrome. When I first became a nurse, I was terrified of making a mistake and afraid to admit when I didn’t know something. When I first became a counselor, I questioned my competence when I didn’t immediately have an answer for a client. I work with new counselors, and they almost always suffer from Imposter Syndrome. I have noticed that Imposter Syndrome is particularly bad in people who take care of other people…hmm.

What’s the cure for Imposter Syndrome? Challenging thoughts that cause shame, having realistic expectations of ourselves, and realizing that just about everybody has felt this way at some time. I help my clients to do these things and give themselves a little bit of grace-they feel so much better. And letting go of Imposter Syndrome actually makes them better at whatever they do!