Confidence in Your Wings

A bird sitting on a tree branch is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.

-----Native Red Cloud (@Native3rd on Twitter)

This describes the ideal outcome of therapy. Therapy should give us the skills to respond in a healthy way to anything that happens in our lives-to depend on our own wings instead of being constantly afraid of the branch breaking under us. It should give us the skills to take care of ourselves no matter what is happening around us-skills such as being able to set healthy boundaries with others, or soothe our own anxiety or anger, or self-care when we’re feeling very depressed. Sure, talking through problems and getting good suggestions and encouragement is important, but if therapy does not also give us practical skills to weather life’s storms then it is, at best, incomplete.

Unfortunately I have had new clients come to me and report that they have been in therapy for a while with someone else but really haven’t learned anything that they have been able to use in their lives. They end up running back to therapy whenever something goes wrong in life. To continue with the metaphor, many people live in fear of the branch breaking because they have no confidence in their own ability to fly. I work with my clients to help them develop the wings to be able to fly and not be afraid of that broken branch. It is extremely freeing (kind of like flying) to know that you can handle whatever happens in life.